Bad, Bad Husband
I've done something really bad. I've opened my wife's mail. Bad!
Bad, bad husband.
Well, I didn't exactly open it. It was an issue of Glamour Magazine, in a plastic wrapper. I removed the plastic wrapper and slid the magazine out of the wrapper. Okay, so I did it. I opened her mail. Know what? I even looked at the magazine after I did that. Some people will say that I’m in the wrong for opening another person’s mail. They’ll say that I should've gone to the store and checked out an issue of Glamour on the newsstand, if my Glamour jones was so strong. Yes, I could’ve done that, but my wife’s copy was right there, on the living room floor, below the mail slot.
Besides, I think that I'd look pretty silly leafing through Glamour Magazine in the store. People would stare and shake their heads as I nosed my way through a magazine that advertised "20 Sex Secrets That Men Are Embarrassed To Tell You About." (That's actually more like something that would appear in Cosmo. My wife doesn't have a sub to Cosmo though, so let's pretend that it's a Glamour article. It's not too far out of Glamour's league. ) "That poor guy. He needs to read Glamour to brush up on his sex secrets," they'd say. “He must’ve been banned from the locker room at some point in his life.” Sad, sad husband.
So, I read my wife’s copy of Glamour Magazine at home. The Glamour Magazine that came in the mail that was not addressed to me.
My dogs didn't look twice.
Bad, bad husband.
Well, I didn't exactly open it. It was an issue of Glamour Magazine, in a plastic wrapper. I removed the plastic wrapper and slid the magazine out of the wrapper. Okay, so I did it. I opened her mail. Know what? I even looked at the magazine after I did that. Some people will say that I’m in the wrong for opening another person’s mail. They’ll say that I should've gone to the store and checked out an issue of Glamour on the newsstand, if my Glamour jones was so strong. Yes, I could’ve done that, but my wife’s copy was right there, on the living room floor, below the mail slot.
Besides, I think that I'd look pretty silly leafing through Glamour Magazine in the store. People would stare and shake their heads as I nosed my way through a magazine that advertised "20 Sex Secrets That Men Are Embarrassed To Tell You About." (That's actually more like something that would appear in Cosmo. My wife doesn't have a sub to Cosmo though, so let's pretend that it's a Glamour article. It's not too far out of Glamour's league. ) "That poor guy. He needs to read Glamour to brush up on his sex secrets," they'd say. “He must’ve been banned from the locker room at some point in his life.” Sad, sad husband.
So, I read my wife’s copy of Glamour Magazine at home. The Glamour Magazine that came in the mail that was not addressed to me.
My dogs didn't look twice.
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